To Live or To Die…

Howdy Howdy,

Today’s article is a little bit personal , as a lot of you will be shocked , some will mock me and some will be mesmerized…

Have you ever been in a position where you wanted to just disappear? You get to a point where you even convince yourself that this world would have been a better place without you?

Hmm .. the voice of evil speaking in your head will make you believe anything.

I am portrayed as this little fragile human being, that everyones feel like they can walk over; this naive yet, smart creature. I have been on earth for 24 years now , and the human species never cease to amaze me, day by day.

The pressure put on my shoulder as this baby bound to make mistakes on her own, has blindsided me for a while now.

I don’t talk, I stay quiet. I keep my feelings inside and no one really knows what’s going on behind closed doors. Why should they ?

Believe it or not, at some point we all are dealing with a demon. Mine is depression.

I suffer from Depression. Perhaps some of yall reading this might find it shocking ; but yeah I do; and no it isn’t the type you diagnosed yourself with. I have overcome a lot in my lifespan, I even thought i wouldn’t be able to make it after the passing of my dad but honey I did. I made it trough !

People think mental illness is a joke; until someone they know take their lives and they go from “She’s okay, she’s just looking for attention“ to “man, I wish I knew she was going through something“. Y’all so quick to judge us; yet y’all be the first writing RIPs once we die.

This season hasn’t been easy for me, or for you ( who knows what you are struggling with ). But one thing I know, today’s just the storm tomorrow will be sunny and you’ll bloom one way or another.

You are not alone, You aren’t the only one fighting the voices in your head. You are worth it, no matter the flaws you may have.

Nobody’s perfect !

I woke up with this heavy feeling to just end my life, and for a second i really thought it would have solved what i was feeling but … what was i thinking right ? Crazy.

I was letting what society had to say about me decide if i was worth breathing. It is very amusing how some people really feel the need to try and ruin your life. They will feed you lies, that you will soon believe. Do me a favor and do not buy their bullshit!

Trust me , been there done that.

As i am writing this, and you are reading it , I do not want your pity or sympathy..

Please, spare me the never ending “are you okay” , ”omg, I didn’t know”.

For you reading this, suffering or dealing with such , I hope you heal and learn how to be strong for you and for the ones who actually care about you. Don’t let other people decide if yes or no you should live; instead, give them a reason why they shouldn’t die anytime soon to watch you LIVE and prosper.

And for you, this need that you feel to make others feel like their life isn’t worth it , I pray you find peace in your heart and that you learn your place in this world.

To my friends and family:

As of today, you no longer know HER and you no longer know ME.

Rest In Peace to this naive ME.

To You ( Yes, You ) :

I hope you learn how to be this amazing women that you are destined to be no matter what. Remember YOU are Who You Are and you owe it to nobody but the Man Above.

Remember to LOVE yourself, TAKE CARE of yourself and remember that living makes you stronger than anything else. They will TRY you over and over, your thoughts will haunt you but when in doubt say this to yourself “This Is Temporary, The Devil is a lie, I matter”.

So ,

To live or To die ?



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